“They say, timing is everything. But then they say, there is never a perfect time for anything.” ― Anthony Liccione
I love and hate this paradox, but it couldn’t be more true. It’s like you’re at a crossroads. One sign reads “Take all the time you need” and the other “YOLO. No time to waste.” How do you know whether to go left or right? Which path is the easiest?
I’ve been pondering Mr. Liccione’s quote on time because, at this point in time, people around me, including myself, have been fighting the concept of time and the role it plays in our lives.
I don’t have time for this job.
It’s too soon to get this serious.
It’s too late to pursue this passion.
It’s not the right time for us.
It’s not your time yet.
It seems that we’ve made time our enemy. When, in reality, time is both a blessing and a curse. But I want to focus solely on time in regards to one of the strongest universal feelings in which time plays the most crucial role in — pain.
It’s important for our own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health to know when we need time to take some time to heal the wounds within us. Sometimes we pay no regards to time and jump ahead to the next relationship, the next career move, the next addiction. The next thing to fill our pain so we feel it no more. It’s a waste of time to take the time, we say. But that’s the cure to pain. Time.
Pay attention to the world around you and within you. These are not just signs. It’s the universe, God, the entire cosmos, pushing you to take the time to feel, heal, and rest.
The world is turning against you (or so you think).
It seems as if the odds are not in your favor lately. Everything that could go wrong, does. Your car just got towed. Your dog ate the shirt you were going to wear for your date. Your date cancels. Your eating dinner alone and swiping left, right, right, right, ANYONE?! You didn’t get the promotion you thought you were going to receive. Instead, Crystal over there, bought the entire office donuts every Friday and suddenly she’s the new — whatever, forget her.
You think the world is against you. You feel crushed.
You are losing your sense of self.
You don’t even know who you are anymore. Heck, your friends can barely recognize you, too. You’re not enjoying the things that used to bring you joy. You stopped writing your script. You forgot you made plans with Jackie to go hiking and told her you’re busy… sleeping in. You don’t go outside anymore to watch the sunset. You forgot to text back your loved ones when you were always so excited to hear from them. You left Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey under your bedside table when you were damn well almost finished! (You better finish it. How dare you.)
You think you don’t know who you are anymore. You feel lost.
People are suddenly leaving you.
This one hurts the most, doesn’t it? The people you loved and cared about suddenly want nothing to do with you. It may not be forever. It may just be for right now but that doesn’t lessen the blow. Your mom cut off all financial support. Your best friend needs a break from you. Your partner needs a break from you or worse, just walks away and leaves you with nothing but a heart bleeding in your own hands.
You think no one wants you anymore. You feel utterly lonely.
Recognize these signs. Acknowledge your thoughts. Now feel the weight of your emotions. Your feelings are valid and they need your attention. Don’t push them away. Or else they will certainly stay. It’s time to take the time to heal.
Pain is temporary. But how long it lasts is up to you. It will be a slow steady process but soon, you will not only get back to yourself, you will surely be stronger than before. Time to take the time to yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to do this alone. Hopefully, there are still some people in your life who are willing to be with you through this time. If not, please seek help — a therapist or a trustworthy counselor.
But I will say, you are never alone in this. Know that there are people going through the same type of pain you are experiencing. I don’t know you but I am with you. I am rooting for you. I know you’ve got this.