How to Actually Get Some Sleep (because omg.)

Hello. This is me writing in the midst of pure dilerium to let you know that sleep is everything. You need it. I need it. Right now. I’m dying.

You know those people who like to brag about having #nodaysoff or staying up all night because of “the grind”. Don’t listen to those people. Those people are either lying or they’re exhausted, and neither of those things are things that you should aspire to.

Do not take rest for granted.  There will be times when you honestly do not have the luxury of sleep, because life happens and none of us have figured out how to slow it down or how to carve more hours out of our day. So, until we do, here are a few tips to help you get the most out of your sleep. (All of which I’ll be doing this weekend because my. god.)

  1. Create a relaxing bedtime routine.   Candles. Stretching. Meditation. Prayer. Whatever calming, self-care techniques you’re into, start to combine them into a nightly routine to help transition your body from hecticness of everyday life to rest mode. Even if it’s just taking a long shower or reading a book, dedicating even 15 or 30 minutes to doing something that relaxes you will help improve your quality of sleep. Also, routines have a way of making you feel like you have your life together. So there’s that.
  2. Get comfortable, adult bedding.   It’s time, guys. It’s time to trash the thin, deflated pillows and $20 comforters you bought in college and invest in actual bedding. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, just find something with some substance that fits your budget. I have satin sheets and a giant, fluffy comforter that make me feel rich. I am not rich. I’m not even rich-adjacent. But I sleep like royalty every night, and there’s no reason you can’t do the same.
  3. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb.   I don’t know about you, but the second I crawl into bed, my phone chimes with either an email or a text message that is never important enough for me to get out of bed, but I do so anyway because I’m compulsive. I have parents that live 3000 miles away, so turning off my phone at night isn’t an option for me, but putting your phone on Do Not Disturb, and adding only the most necessary people to your call list will change your life.
  4. No Netflix – You’re not just going to watch 1 episode of Grey’s Anatomy. You’re going to watch the whole season. Again.   I won’t pretend that I’ve actually managed to incorporate this rule into my life, but I’m a human who may still be mildly afraid of the dark, and Netflix is my nightlight. Still, we’ve all spent much more time under our covers binging shows than could possibly be healthy. Even when you manage to finally fall asleep, your brain is still stimulated by the background noise of the TV to fully shut itself off. I won’t get into REM sleep cycles or any of the other psycological reasons behind this, just close your laptop and thank me later.
  5. Go to bed on schedule.   Going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day establishes a routine. (I’m all about routines.) Alarm clocks are the rudest, most disorienting devices ever invented, so set your body’s alarm clock and wake up on your own terms.

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